We’re often sold the illusion that life is supposed to be a highlight reel. Scroll your feed, and you’ll see people showcasing the best angles, the happiest milestones, the vacations, the wins. And it’s tempting to think that happiness should be our permanent state—that if it’s not, something’s wrong with us, or that we’d be doing a disservice to someone via simply being.
But life doesn’t afford us constant happy moments. It never has. It never will. This is something that’s extremely easy to forget; especially for the strongest and most independent people.
The Weight of Real Life
There are days when things feel impossibly heavy. When your energy is drained, when your confidence falters, when the people you love are hurting. These aren’t failures—they’re the raw material of being human.
And while we like to imagine that perseverance means “gritting our teeth and getting through it alone,” the truth is, strength is rarely solo. It shows up most clearly when it’s shared.
The optics of today’s world don’t properly convey this in planes of connection that are relatable. It feels fluffy and artificial so we assume it’s like a fairytale. It’s often shown in a cliche example in a show like Scrubs or Friends or How I Met Your Mother or in an unrealistically staged cringey scenario like The Amazing Race, or Survivor, or Big Brother. But it’s not shown in how the neighbour who gets on your nerves and passive aggressively insults your values, also looks out for your well being and your safety when you’re not paying attention. It’s shown in that despite the fact siblings might get in escalated disagreements, they still usually love each other more than they love themselves on some level - because of something tied to something greater than both of them.
When You Don’t Know Why You Like Someone
Have you ever met someone and couldn’t explain why you admired them? Chances are, what you’re noticing is their character.
It’s not their résumé. It’s not their appearance. It’s the way life has shaped them. The losses they’ve endured. The setbacks they’ve survived. The lessons they’ve carried.
Their resilience doesn’t just prepare them for their own journey—it steadies the people closest to them. And when people like this come together—through personal relationships, friendships, work collaborations, or community groups—their collective strength becomes contagious. It’s what turns hardship into momentum. It’s what makes the world feel beautiful again.
It’s rare, and the people who collect these connections consistently are often the silent leaders of the informal groups you find yourselves in.
The Fear of Connection
Yet here’s the paradox: as much as we need each other, many of us fear this truth. We convince ourselves that isolation is safer. That pulling away will protect us from disappointment.
But it never has been the answer. And it never will be.
Isolation may shield us from vulnerability in the short term, but it robs us of the collaboration and shared resilience that make hard times survivable—and even meaningful.
The Reminder We All Need
That’s why a reflection like this matters. Because we need the reminder: life is preparing us for the tough times, not just the easy ones.
No matter your age, no matter the season of life you’re in, and no matter the path the people before you took. We’re all going through this moment in time together for the FIRST time.
This is something I think a lot of us will always lose sight of. Remembering it is our power. It’s what let’s us see more clearly, feel more control, and do what needs to be done in terms of listening, showing up, connecting, leading, and being intentional.
Think about your parents—or the people who raised you. We often remember them for the proud, polished moments: prepared meals, job accomplishments, physical strength, daily activities, graduations, promotions, milestones. But beneath those were nights of deep loss, health scares, failures, and financial struggles. And yet they kept going—not as individuals, but as teammates. They leaned on one another, sometimes messily, but always together.
Even when it’s the biggest mess you could imagine, they stuck together and got through it.
And if you don’t have a strong relationship with your parents, think of the people who matter most to you now. Friends. Mentors. Partners. Teammates. If you’re TRULY struggling with this part, think of a professional sports team and what is needed to win a championship - what do you need to see from the team?
They became who they are not just because of joy, but because of how they carried hardship. That’s why we love them—and it’s why we will likely walk the same road ourselves.
What We Carry Forward
Character is the sum of both strength and scars. And when we look at the people we admire, what we’re often seeing is proof that we’re not meant to do this alone.
We need support. We need collaboration. We need the kind of connections that steady us when life feels shaky.
Happiness will come and go, like sunlight moving through clouds. But the people who stand with us in the storm—that’s what makes life endurable. That’s what makes it beautiful again.
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I wrote this today. It speaks to what you said. Thanks for being a light!! https://open.substack.com/pub/nathanwclark/p/dont-forget-the-weight?r=5zpn6f&utm_medium=ios